View Full Version : 3 yr old asking about her daddy
Brooklyn40305
05-02-2008, 12:23 AM
I am a single mother of a 3 year old girl . . . her daddy has had nothing to do with her since the day she has been born except maybe run in with him at someones house we both know. Anyways he calls himself daddy to her but has nothing to do with her at all I luck to get child support from him. My problem is she is starting to ask who her daddy is and where is he. I have know idea what to say so i just tell her he is at HIS Home or he is at work and when he gets off work he will GO BACK TO HIS HOME. it upsets me so bad does anyone know what i should say to her I don't want to lie to her. I know she is 3 and she dosen't understand right now but the day will come and i don't know what to do or say. Please Help me
TuckersMom
05-02-2008, 01:17 PM
<FONT face="Comic Sans MS">Goodness, I can't imagine how difficult this must be. I have issues explaining why it rains. I don't have any great words of wisdom, just wanted to say that I think you have the hardest job in all the world. Single mothers are truely special, I don't know how you do it, but I admire you for taking on the job of motherhood alone. I wish you the best!</FONT>
heatherranae
05-02-2008, 01:37 PM
That's a tough one, but I've been there. Although my son sees his dad every other weekend, it wasn't always like that. When I got those questions I would say the same thing: he's working, he's sleeping, he's at his house, etc. Really, at 3, that's all they need. Of course I don't know anything about your family, but I found it helpful that my son had a male figure in his life to look up to. People like his papaw, my brother, my brother-in-laws, etc... that way he would get the male attention he was craving at that time. They weren't there to take the place of his father, they were there to give him special attention if he needed it (the kind his dad should give him if he were around). That helped a lot. Good luck with everything. You never know what will happen in the future... he may change his outlook on having a child. <img align="absmiddle" src="http://testcommunity.portspaces.com/FORUMS/Skins/Classic/Images/EmotIcons/Smile.gif" border="0" title="Smile">
MommyMcQuay
05-02-2008, 08:18 PM
I agree with the idea of not giving your child any more information than they are looking for. </P><P>A simple, At his house, at Work, Sleeping, or busy will work. I know you want to be honest. But at this point, their ability to understand the bigger issue (your dad is a dead beat dad) just isn't possible. </P><P>Good luck!
Carrie
05-02-2008, 08:23 PM
yeah, and seriously even if she was able to understand what a dead beat meant, you want her to conclude it herself. You just be the best mommy you can be, and if he comes around eventually, fine, if not who needs him. She will ask, and you just be honest but not judgemental. It causes too much stress on a kid to try to figure out why adults are idiots!
Brooklyn40305
05-04-2008, 10:05 AM
Hey Everyone !! Thanks for all the help. Now that I know I am saying the right thing I feel alot better. It's a shame that men are like him children mean everything to me and I just don't see how knowing that you have a wonderful innocent child your own flesh and blood out there somewhere and not have something to do with her/him. People like that are really cold hearted. Anyways Thanks for the support